The message landed like a recruiter's cold outreach — except it wasn't about a job. It was about love, or at least the possibility of it. When North Carolina-based writer Pat Brothwell received a LinkedIn message from a New York matchmaker, his first instinct was suspicion. Scam, he thought. But the sender, Marin Haugo of Maar Dating Club NYC, was real — and she wanted to discuss potential matches.
When a Matchmaker's Outreach Feels Like a Headhunter's Pitch
Brothwell agreed to the meeting, but what followed left him unimpressed. The matchmaker appeared to have done little research into his background. "It felt like when a headhunter contacts you, and they just did a very cursory search," Brothwell told Fortune. "She didn't actually look into it because all her clients are based in New York. I live in Asheville, North Carolina."
The disconnect was glaring. A matchmaker — someone whose entire business depends on understanding clients — had skipped the basic step of checking where he lived.
Why Singles Are Turning to LinkedIn Before the First Date
Brothwell's experience is part of a larger shift in how people approach dating. Singles are increasingly using LinkedIn to screen matches before meeting in person. The professional platform has become an informal background check — a way to verify employment, education, and social connections without asking directly.
This behavior reflects a deeper need for safety and authenticity in a dating landscape dominated by curated profiles and filtered photos. A LinkedIn profile, by contrast, feels more grounded — tied to a real career, real colleagues, and a verifiable professional history.
The Cursory Search Problem: When Effort Signals Interest
For Brothwell, the matchmaker's lack of research wasn't just an oversight — it was a signal. In an era where singles are doing their own detective work, a professional matchmaker failing to do the same felt like a red flag.
Haugo reassured him that distance wouldn't be an issue and suggested he fly to New York for dates if necessary. That comment made him suspicious — and it highlights a growing tension in the dating industry: clients expect personalization, but some matchmakers still operate with a one-size-fits-all approach.
How Professional Networks Are Reshaping Romance
The trend of using LinkedIn for dating research is a natural extension of how people already navigate the digital world. Before meeting someone from a dating app, many singles now search for the person's professional profile to confirm they are who they claim to be.
This practice offers several advantages: it verifies employment, reveals mutual connections, and provides conversation starters. But it also raises questions about privacy and the boundaries between professional and personal life.
What Matchmakers and Daters Can Learn From This Moment
For matchmakers, Brothwell's story is a cautionary tale. The industry promises personalized service — and clients expect matchmakers to do their homework. A cursory search undermines the very value proposition of a paid matchmaking service.
For singles, the lesson is simpler: the effort someone puts into researching you often reflects their genuine interest. Whether it's a matchmaker or a potential partner, a lack of basic due diligence can be telling.
The Privacy Question: How Much Research Is Too Much?
While LinkedIn screening can feel empowering, it also blurs ethical lines. Is it acceptable to dig through someone's professional history before a first date? Where is the line between prudent vetting and invasive surveillance?
Experts suggest that a quick LinkedIn check is now standard practice — but there's a difference between verifying someone's existence and scrutinizing their entire career trajectory. The key is balance: enough research to feel safe, not so much that it feels like an investigation.
Confirmed Facts vs What Remains Unclear
Confirmed: Brothwell received a LinkedIn message from Marin Haugo of Maar Dating Club NYC. The matchmaker suggested he fly to New York for dates. Brothwell felt the matchmaker had done minimal research on his background.
Unclear: Whether Haugo's outreach was part of a broader marketing strategy or a genuine attempt to match Brothwell with a client. The full details of their conversation beyond what Brothwell shared with Fortune remain private.
Why LinkedIn Screening Is Here to Stay
The practice of using LinkedIn to vet dates isn't a passing fad — it's a reflection of how digital trust works in 2025. As dating apps become more saturated and catfishing remains a concern, professional platforms offer a layer of verification that social media profiles often lack.
LinkedIn profiles are tied to real companies, real job titles, and real professional connections. For many singles, that's a more reliable signal of authenticity than a carefully curated Instagram feed.
Risks and Balanced View: The Downsides of Professional Vetting
Not everyone is comfortable with LinkedIn being used as a dating tool. Critics argue that it conflates professional success with personal compatibility — a person's job title says little about their character or emotional intelligence.
There's also the risk of confirmation bias: if a profile looks impressive, daters may overlook red flags. And for those with less polished professional profiles, the trend can feel exclusionary.
The Bigger Pattern: How Technology Keeps Changing Dating Rules
From Tinder to LinkedIn, technology has consistently reshaped how people find and evaluate partners. Each new platform brings new norms — and new anxieties. The current moment is defined by a desire for transparency in a world that often feels opaque.
Singles have become their own private investigators, as the headline suggests. Whether that's a positive development or a symptom of deeper distrust depends on how the practice evolves.
Practical Guidance for Daters Using LinkedIn to Screen Matches
If you're using LinkedIn to vet a potential match, keep these tips in mind: verify employment without obsessing over job titles, use mutual connections to ask discreet questions, and remember that a professional profile is only one dimension of a person.
For those on the receiving end of such research, consider what your profile says about you — and whether it accurately reflects who you are beyond your career.
Future Outlook: Will Matchmaking Services Adapt?
Brothwell's experience may prompt matchmaking services to rethink their approach. In an industry built on personalization, failing to research clients is a competitive disadvantage. Expect more matchmakers to invest in deeper vetting processes — or risk losing clients to the very platforms singles are already using themselves.
Our Take
This story is about more than one awkward matchmaker outreach. It's a window into how trust is built — and broken — in the digital age. Singles are doing the work that dating services were supposed to do, and that says something about both the promise and the failure of the modern dating industry.
The takeaway isn't that LinkedIn is a dating app. It's that people will always find ways to protect themselves and seek authenticity — even if it means turning a professional network into a personal investigation.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it normal to use LinkedIn to screen dating matches?
Yes, it's increasingly common. Many singles check a potential match's LinkedIn profile to verify employment, education, and mutual connections before meeting in person. It's seen as a low-effort way to confirm someone is who they claim to be.
What should I look for when vetting a match on LinkedIn?
Focus on verifying basic facts like current employer and job title, check for mutual connections who can vouch for the person, and look for consistency between their dating profile and professional profile. Avoid over-analyzing details that don't affect compatibility.
Can using LinkedIn for dating research backfire?
It can. Some people may feel their privacy is invaded, and professional success doesn't guarantee personal compatibility. Over-reliance on LinkedIn profiles can also lead to confirmation bias, where impressive credentials mask character issues.
What should a matchmaker have done differently in this situation?
A professional matchmaker should research a potential client's location, background, and preferences before outreach. Suggesting someone fly across the country without understanding their circumstances reflects poor service and undermines trust in the matchmaking industry.
